Sometimes. Most of the time. I forget. I make life out to be so so complicated. I'm not quite sure what it was that made me start laughing at myself tonight, but it has been one of those evenings where I've remembered all that makes my cup over. I will attempt to bring you through the narrative of my current state mostly because I have to have some kind of outlet for the overflow.
First, the Good: Mary Chapin Carpenter's alto voice. The toy piano sound in Sufjan Steven's "Lo, Er a Rose is Blooming." The classical bass in Trinity Grace's version of "O Come O Come Emmanuel" that cuts. right. to. my. heart.
The True: My pastor this weekend talked about how the season of advent and its waiting are meant to wean us away from that which is instant. I'm not sure if it's my ipod, my netflix or lack of dependents, but I have gotten pretty used to doing what I want when I want...and this is not a good thing. I would please like my life to be simple, organized, physically and emotionally healthy and productive. Today. Aye. I think I am finally truly learning that life can not always be neat, packaged and well designed; and that it is probably better that way.
The Good: following my mom's recipe for chocolate chip cookies and listening to Christmas music. Laughing (and dancing) to Sufjan's "Come On! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance" (especially the line: your sister's bangs, she cut them herself).
The True: Today my school had two speakers come and talk to our kids about social action. Both are individuals who had completely different, but difficult stories: one from a broken, broken family in the U.S. and one a former child soldier from the Congo. Their passion ignited my homeroom...they all came back to class as if they had finally woken up, and it was impossible not to be teary at their earnestness. Talking with 13 year olds about how life is not about the stuff that we own is pretty powerful.
The Good: sitting and listening to Christmas music with old, good friends at Rockwood Music Hall and the Gregory Brothers' rendition of "The Gift of the Magi" and Sarah Fullen singing "Go Tell It on the Mountain."
The Nostalgia: I'm not quite sure what can account for my deep longings lately. But my heart was aching for England, so I looked through my pictures and just sat and remembered. And this was good for my soul. How is it even possible to become so mindless that we forget the good and the true? I'm not sure, except that I do it all the time. But. I'm happy to report that I'm feeling like myself. And full. And thankful.